Find A New Career for Joe

Now that his PNNL lawsuit’s over, Joe Huffman’s musing about other things:

I keep wondering if there is a way to combine all my hobbies in an interesting way. But at least for me guns, explosives, and sex just don’t mix.

To me, the answer’s obvious. Joe needs to produce porn movies in which the performers alternate between shooting-range activities (including Boomershoot-style explosive targets) and hot sexual intercourse.

I mean come on, who hasn’t had that fantasy where you’re alone at the range and happen to notice a comely female start shooting a few benches away? Then you notice that she’s not only gorgeous, she’s competent with her firearm and maybe even outshoots you. One thing leads to another, and it’s off with the clothes and into the positions. Then, after some exquisite orgasms, you set out some more targets and — still nude — the pair of you start a friendly shooting competition. Maybe the loser has to try to bring the winner to orgasm through oral sex at the same time the winner is valiantly trying to concentrate on shooting a string of pool cues at 100 yards. Or little boomers. You get the idea. Then maybe our heroes are joined by two other couples with different types of guns — maybe a .50 BMG and a muzzleloader? Different scenes ensue with each. Etc., etc.
Of course, all the performers would exhibit impeccable gun handling, and what little dialogue there’d be would consist of intelligent and witty discourse on firearms safety, the joys of shooting, and of course, the usual sex talk.

The possibilities are endless. A lesbian video would sell like hotcakes. There’d probably be a big market for gay porn versions as well.

Nobody’s doing this yet to my knowledge. I guarantee you (assuming Joe got decently attractive performers) that with the low cost of digital cameras, a series of amateur videos like this would make lots and lots of money.

I’d buy ’em. Would you?

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5 Responses to Find A New Career for Joe

  1. M.Smith says:

    Just so you aren’t the only one… I’d buy one as well. ‘Specially the all girl one.

  2. Joe Huffman says:

    I realize this is a common fantasy. However, it’s not mine. I can only relate in a rather abstract way. The lesbian version? No interest. All men? Mildly uncomfortable.

    I had one woman friend express a great deal of amazement that I didn’t find “chicks with guns” exciting. She sent me a link to some photos of women with guns that “made her hot”. For me it was shrug — that’s interesting. I knew my friend had sexual interests in women as well as men and the gun thing was well known as well. But I really don’t get it at the emotional level as to why anyone would find the combination appealing.

    I don’t think it would be hard to find the attractive people willing to be filmed. I just don’t know that I am the right person to do it. Since I just don’t get it I probably would have a difficult time doing it right.

    Thanks for the idea though. I may bring the topic up with a someone I know that makes porn on a professional basis. If the video becomes available I’ll let you know.

  3. Stuff says:

    You can find hentai (animated Japanese porn) like this already. THey’re more like action movies with a bit of drawn sex instead of range time plus sex.

  4. David says:

    I would imagine that the producer and/or director would have to be someone at least a bit disinterested, otherwise the thing would never get done.

    And I’m not one of those who finds photos of women with guns necessarily any more erotic than photos of women, period. But there is apparently a decent market of those who do that is not being served.

  5. Rivrdog says:

    Well, it might stimulate range directors to put in some very interesting and MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE shooting benches….

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