Rude Measurements

I got an email or two asking about the measurements I used in my post yesterday about happenings at work.

If you’d like to follow me below the fold, I shall instruct. Keep them handy for your next review or request for a pay raise. (not safe for anyone)

Yesterday, I used the term “Shitload”

1-Load = The amount of work you can reasonably get done in 8 hours 

1-Buttload = 1 Load plus your lunch break

1-Assload = 1 Buttload plus any and all breaks you are alotted

1-Shitload = Assload x 1.5

1- Fuckload = Shitload x 1.5

These are Standard American Equity measurements only.

Their Metric equivalents are as follows:

1-Loade = The amount of work you can get done in 4 hours

1-Bumloade – 1 Loade plus, the time normally spent complaining you are required to do too much work

1-Arseloade – 1 Bumloade, plus the time spent attempting to make the perfect pot of coffee (or spot of tea)

1-Shatload – 1 Arseload, plus you have someone else fill out your union grievance forms

There is no Fuckload Equivalent. Euros don’t work that hard.

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3 Responses to Rude Measurements

  1. Rivrdog says:

    Glad to hear you aced your performance review AND managed to remind Management of your disdain for the usual Mangaement duplicity.

    Does this mean a raise and more gunny budget?

  2. AnalogKid says:

    Surely you jest, RD!?

    This was just Corporate screwing with us. That doesn’t mean they owe us more money. Just ask them and they’ll tell ya.

  3. buckethead says:

    Excellent! Nice to have it all laid out.

    Not to pick nits, and it doesn’t matter since it rarely is ever used, but the last metric one should probably be “Shiteload” as shat is just the past tense of the verb to shit. For shite, just think of “Trainspotting” and its use there.

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