Scary Gifts

My new city of residence, Tacoma, is looking to add throwing stars and toy/display swords to their list of “Dangerous Weapons”.

Why, because someone or a group of someones, are frightened by the sight of them for sale in stores.

Some government officials are crusading to get cheap versions of medieval weapons off the shelves of local convenience stores because the appearance of collectible swords, crossbows and throwing stars is upsetting people who just want to buy a pack of gum.

The city’s lawyers are having a difficult time, however, figuring out how to revise Tacoma’s “dangerous weapons” ordinance to stop the stores from selling collectible swords without also making it illegal for grocery stores to sell bread knives or camping stores to offer hunting knives.

There is a definite difference between doing what is right and what is easy. There is also a difference between doing what is right and what is stupid.

This clearly falls under the “Stupid” category. How do I know?

The City Council’s Public Safety and Human Services Committee first heard complaints about the weapons from neighborhood activists, but police say they haven’t seen an increase in crimes involving such weapons.

So the only people with a problem with these cheap representations, usually in miniature, and almost always made out of the cheapest steel that Pakistan can find, are “Neighborhood Activists”.

These people are also known as “Busy Bodies”; people with nothing else to do but hunt down something to complain about. First your grass isn’t cut every week or it is cut too long. Then your lawnmower is too loud. Then your dog frightens them┬ábecause it is the “wrong” breed, so they talk the block-watch Captain into passing out flyers asking for support for a city-wide ban on┬ácertain breeds of dogs.

Pretty soon these ‘people with too much free time’ start running for City Council. Then you just have to move to get away from them.

But only because tarring and feathering is considered “Cruel and Unusual” nowadays.

Meethinks they should not want to look into my safes. My edged weaponry isn’t made of cheap steel and they definitely aren’t miniatures.

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2 Responses to Scary Gifts

  1. David says:

    Several of my coworkers are from India. When I show them US catalogs with swords, etc. “proudly made in India by Windlass Steelcrafts,” they first react with astonishment at the prices, then dissolve into fits of giggles.

    I’m quite happy about the expanding US-Indian partnership, but one thing even the Indians admit is that they are about three decades behind everybody else where quality control is concerned. I’ve seen a real (antique) sword used to successfully chop a sapling. I’ve heard the Indian stuff will just break.

  2. Petey says:

    Funny how headshops sell all this junk.

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