Seattle Drivers Suck!

Or why I have to spend an hour and a half getting to work in the rain.

I get why Seattle drivers freak out in the snow. The Puget Sound area only gets a few inches a year on average, so when it hits, a whole population that has no idea how to drive on the stuff goes 20 MPH in the fast lane.

But rain causes slow downs? Huh? It’s Seattle, rain should be a no brainer! I mean, wet roads are wet roads. There isn’t a lot of standing water on the freeways to cause hydroplaning, and we don’t often get the deluges that drop so much that good road drainage is useless.

What we get is drizzle, and a good, steady rain. Either way, the road is wet. Then I noticed, it isn’t the drizzle that causes panic, it’s only the good steady rain.


My new working theory as to why Seattle drivers are defective is this: No one told them there are two more speed settings on the wiper stick. I know you rarely need to use anything more than “Mist” & the various levels of “Intermittent/Delay”, but there are 2 more settings, known as “Normal”, and “Fast”, that I suggest you explore when the rain gets heavy. Because right now, this is what I imagine the majority of you are thinking/doing:

Scene: Driving in the far left lane on the interstate with a steady rain.
Driver: My, it’s really coming down, the wipers can barely keep up. [Wipers sweep the windshield, wait 2 seconds, and sweep it again].
Driver: Still, the traffic is light, I’m doing 60, and… [A truck passes the Driver doing 70 just as the Driver’s wipers finish their circuit, road spray from the passing vehicle covers the windshield]
Driver: OMG! I can’t SEE! [Driver panics, slams on his breaks, not realizing the ripple effect this act will have on the 5 miles of traffic behind him]
Driver: I’m going so fast, and the wipers won’t clear my windshield for another 2 SECONDS! I could slam into a TREE by then! [Wipers clear the window again]
Driver: Phew! I can see again [another car speeds by, blasting the Driver with spray, obscuring the middle finger the passing driver displays]
Driver: NOoOoOoOo! I’m blind again! I’d better just stay here in the left lane at 20 mph until this rain lets up, it’s too dangerous to go so fast with all this spray.

I think I got that about right.

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3 Responses to Seattle Drivers Suck!

  1. Firehand says:

    Son has been stationed in that area for about a year now, and his observations track with yours. Although he tends to put it in somewhat less-presentable-in-public language.

  2. AnejoDave says:

    I always figured it was because rain is part of the productive cycle of nature. Seattle is full of libs so anything remotely resembling being productive frightens and confuses them.

  3. Georg Felis says:

    I think we train those guys in Kansas….

    Typical winter snowstorm hits overnight. Normal two-lane road, clear on the right (from overnight traffic), snowpacked on the left (from lack of same). Going to work. My observations:
    1) People with 4-wheel drives in huge SUVs traveling 30mph in the right lane, with little old ladies hunched over the steering wheel in terror of that horrid white stuff.
    2) Sports cars with rear wheel drive and slick tires doing 60mph in the left lane, fishtailing madly, and occasionally sliding into the ditch with an *amazing* billow of snow.

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